STOP DOING TO YOURSELF

                        We are our greatest enemy. We doubt ourselves,complicate our lives,cloud our minds with unimportant thoughts and negativity,We punish ourselves,hate ourselves and then feel sorry  for ourselves because "outside forces"  are making our lives a living hell. Life is beautiful-you're making ours living hell on your own. Each of us does things from time to time that make living happily more difficult than it needs to be.

                                          Surely some of it has difficult  because those are the cards we're dealt,but most of us- those who are better off financially and don't live on the streets-make our very own lives more difficult for ourselves.But there are things you can do to stop the miserable cycle that you have found yourself in - a cycle that i know all too well.here's 20 of them:

1. Stop running from your problems and pro castinating:

                                      Problems don't go away on their own.you can either make them go away or live with them.If you know you can't live them,then don't pro castinate because the weight of them on your mind only increases overtime.If you have a problem,then accept that you have a problem and face it-deal with it.Life is a long list of problems that must be overcome.The faster and better you overcome them, the better and happier your life will be.

2. Stop lying to yourself:

                                   You are the only person that you can trust...but if you have a habit of lying to yourself,then you can't even trust yourself.You have to be able to rely on yourself and on what you believe.

3. Stop living in the past:

                                          Yesterday was yesterday-it's gone and will never again be.Everyone carries emotional baggage with them.Some of us carry the weight of a depression past while others live in those happy long-gone moments that we consider to have been the best of our lives.You can reminisce if you'd like as long as you don't forget that your reality exists only in the present.Whatever the case,be wary of focusing on the paste events and do your best to live in the moment.

4. Stop attempting to buy happiness:

                             Happiness must be something attainable by each and every person no matter what his or her circumstance.If the  poorest of the poor can be happy,then happiness can not lie in  the material.

5. Stop relying on others:

                              People have their own lives filled with their own headaches,own problems,own mishaps and own successes.Friendship is great,but often doesn't weather the storm.Be self-reliant.Be independent.We all find ourselves alone at several points throughout our lives.If you find yourself on your lonesome and don't know how to deal with it because you are used to having constant support,then you will drown.

6. Stop fearing failure:

                           Failing is learning in real world.There is only so much that you can read up about the way the world works,but true knowledge comes from experience.The more times you go wrong,the more ways you know NOT to do it.

7. Stop doing the same thing over and over,expecting different results:

                                   If you tried something one way and it didn't work,then guess what will happen when you try again exactly in the same manner? Failure is only good when you learn from it,otherwise it is really just a failure.

8. Stop rejecting prospective partners because of your  past relationships:

                     You fell in love and had your heart broken;we all have.luckily for you,now that you have experienced the pain of a broken heart,you have fully experienced the love cycle and can grow as an individual.Relationships,like the rest of life, are learning experiences.Ultimately,you and your partner  decide whether or not the relationship will work.

9. Stop feeling sorry for yourself:

                                Life is tough for everyone.The richest of the rich have problems.The poorest of the poor of have problems. We make problems for ourselves-they don't exist outside of us.stop feeling sorry for yourself and start interacting with the world around you.

10. Stop trying to change others:

                                   People don't want to be changed and most often  can't be changed.You must learn  to accept people for who they are.the less you focus on all the things you find wrong about an individual,the more you can focus on how to deal with them and all their discrepancies. Don't fix people;learn to deal with them.

SELF-ESTEEM

                                      

                                         You can't touch it,but it affects how you feel.You can't see it,but it's there when you look at yourself in the mirror.You can't hear it,but it's there every time you talk about yourself.What is this important but mysterious thing? It's your self-esteem!

                      Self esteem is defined as confidence in your own merit as an individual.Our self esteem is instilled in us during our youth.There are two types of self-esteem.

                         There is high self esteem which is when you feel good about yourself,and then there is  low self esteem which is when you feel bad about yourself.Being constantly criticized by family,friends and society tends to slowly trip us of our feelings of self worth. Our low self esteem strips us of our self confidence to make even the smallest of decisions.

                           We think little of ourselves,and feel we are not worth a penny and do not deserve to be happy.High self esteem is good most of the time,but some people have too high self esteems and they could come on strong.People may call to these types as "cocky" or "annoying".

                       Improving your self esteem increases your confidence and is a first step towards finding happiness and a better life.Individuals with truly high self esteem feel good about themselves and continue believing in themselves regardless of what others think of them.Some people feel good about themselves only as long as others support and approve them.The moment another person criticizes them,or withdraws her or his support from them,they not only feel bad about themselves,they may  even hate themselves.That would be the first step of low self esteem.when a person acts like that,life can be hurtful for most of the time and they may find themselves at the mercy of others.
                                               keep the following statement in mind :

                I am very special, unique and valuable person.I deserve to feel good about myself .

DESTINY AND HARDWORK

 

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LUCK. YOU DETERMINE  YOUR OWN                                                        DESTINY 

                                    I think this statement is very true  to a certain extent.There is no such as luck.You determine your own destiny.This is because nothing comes free and easy in this world.It is you who have to work for it.there is also a saying,"99% comes  from hard work only 1%  comes from luck". Miracles do happen but very seldom.

                      Where there is a will there is a way goes the adage but, how practical is it in today's context is something that is to be scrutinized threadbare.

             Hard work and perseverance are the two keys to success.We can shape our own destiny by hard work  and perseverance.but,what if we don't succeed even after working hard and persevering? 

                         We often feel and believe that we can shape our destiny to our liking,by hard work and perseverance.But,when we don't succeed even after working hard,we lose faith in these values and feel that the destiny has something else in store for us and we are just slaves to it.I feel that no matter however hard we work,destiny controls us and our future and we are bound to follow it demurely.

               But on the other hand,i feel all this talk of destiny and believing in it blindly are the signs of a weak-minded person who wants to avoid his responsibilities. A strong person will weather every storm of destiny,come what may,to achieve his/her goals!They will not merely accept what destiny has to offer them.They will fight for what they want from destiny.

                     There goes a saying 'shallow men believe in luck,strong men believe in cause and effect'. This holds very true of persons who believe in themselves and in the values of hard work.Just because you didn't get something or couldn't achieve your cherished goal even after a lot of hard work you  shouldn't settle for something inferior,which you may feel  the destiny has to offer you or has offered you!

                                                  Always be a fighter and fight until your last breath for accomplishing your dreams.This is a world of cut-throat and ruthless competition.remember in this world there is no place for quitters because "winners never quit and quitters never win".

FRIENDSHIP AND BETRAYAL

                   Betrayal -     A word that is so harsh yet it still exists in the world.this word had belittled the importance of the word,'trust'.It caused the strong bonds between two people to be broken and had replaced the kind hearts of many with hatred.

                                The trust that a person has in his friends and family is paramount to a healthy life and quality relationships.Once this trust is broken,or betrayed a person's security can be shattered,leaving him doubtful and insecure about all aspects of life.

                          Backstabbing friends- This is usually more in high school.

                                 No one wants to have bad experiences in high school,but how can it be helped?You're starting to look at colleges,and grades are becoming important so you can get to the college you want to get to.As if homework is not enough,you have to deal with all the drama that goes around boyfriends,schoolwork,family issues-but no one expects to have a backstabbing friend.it's the last thing on your mind.But unfortunately it happens.
                                  High school changes people.girls can feel intimidated by friends and guys.drugs and alcohol play an important role in being "cool".And even though you know you're doing the right thing...you get punished.
                                 So how do you deal with those backstabbing friends?Well,to start with,if they're backstabbing you,they are not your friends.You've been friends since forever-best friends for life!No one wants to lose that.But if they're doing this to you obviously their views have changed.But before dumping a friend,talk to her.If she denies it,then is she really worth the trouble?If she can't be honest with you,then she doesn't care about your friendship anymore.She could be intimidated by other girls,but if she can't see where you're coming from,then it's not worth it.    
                            There is a  saying: some people enter your life for a season.When one door closes,another one opens.just think about all the others doors opening.you may be losing one friend,but you might gain another,someone closer and better.
                              Don't let it get you down .keep your head up and think positive.someone else will enter your life and make you realize why it didn't work out with her.You'll find someone who will accept you for who you are,no matter what other girls say.

SAVE GIRL CHILD

                               It is indeed important to save girl child as today's girl will be the mother of a child tomorrow.Female feticide and infanticide are not just only issues pertaining with  girl child.But at every stage of life,she is discriminated and abandoned for education,living standard and basic nutrition.She is not considered at par with the boy child.Not only in early stages but even as a teenager,she is not provided with good clothes,nutritious food items and forced to eat left over crumbs.Even when she is supposed to be in college,she is hurriedly married off where she has to depend on others for her survival.she doesn't enjoy social and economic independence.These conditions further aggravate  the overall condition of females in a country.again if she gives birth to a girl,the whole journey of discrimination begins.

                         She is your mom,she is your wife,she is your daughter......
                                  simply respect and feel her that she is the most awesome person on earth...
                          you don't know but she even doesn't have time  for herself as she always try to make you happy..and this happens only in INDIA..

                                 On the one hand we see girls entering in the fields of all kinds of professions holding senior positions in offices,becoming engineers,doctors,managers etc..We are obviously impressed and are likely to believe that,the position of the girl is now after all not too bad.
  However the complexity  of the problem becomes malicious when we see that,together with girls entering professions there is a simultaneous and continuous rise in the graph of crimes against women.
                 Why and how do these two sides of the same problem co-relate?

This situation is true of the urban area where education and freedom is given to girls-to a great extent,but even this growth of this class does not really bear any testimony to the equality of girls with boys .

                         In villages girls are not sent to schools and,if at all they are,they drop out after an year or two of schooling.Here,the myth still remains that,education is useless for girls-they have to concentrate on house work, child bearing and child bringing up all through life-and all this, it is believed needs no education.The village people are hard to convince that education of women is as important if not more important than the education of men.Girl child-she is,even to-day in the 21st century treated as an object to be used instead of an individual human being with all the ingredients of human beings-like her counterparts-the boy.
                      No matter what status a women may achieve outside home,inside the home she,by and large remains a chattel.When this is the ground reality of the girl at home and outside home it appears that, even education and financial independence have not helped women really enhancing their status.

Dreams

ACHIEVING DREAMS

Dreams are nothing but the thoughts and ideas of ones mind.if ones thoughts are good then he/she will see good dreams and if someones thoughts are bad then he/she will see bad dreams



"If u can imagine it,you can achieve it.if you can dream it you can become it"




All of us dream,several times at night.it is believed that we sleep in order that we may dream.dreams can come true,if somebody makes them true

Importance of Family

                       Family and friends  play important role in our lives.you can't live right without a family and you can't succeed without any friends.What makes them so special and essential to our existence?

                    Nobody can deny the fact that nothing is more important than a family.You may not realize how momentous a home is when you're small,but when you become more mature and have an indecent mind,you'll realize that family really means everything to you.It's where your life begins and the love you are given truly never dies.It helps us in improving our personality.It also helps us in shaping our life.It teaches the value of love,affection,care,truthfulness and self-confidence and provides us tools and suggestions which are necessary to get success in life.

                                       It's the place where you are loved for who you are,therefore,you're free to be yourself.they have been there for you since you were born and there is no reason for them to leave you when you grow up.They are the one's who always stand by you,help you face the problems and difficulties you have to solve in your life.Despite those tough experiences you have to suffer in life which may not come to your expectations,your family will always stand by your side and help you deal with them.They make sure that you know a family means no one is left behind or forgotten.
                                        Today most people don't realize the importance of family.they prefer to spend most of their time with their friends.But when they are surrounded by problems,it was their family that helps them to get rid of problems.At the time,when even our best friends refuse to help us,it was our family that came to help us.
                                           So,it is very important for each and every individual to give importance to their families above anything else and enjoy spending time with their family members

Value Of Healthy Relationships

                  " The best way to get what you want in a relationship is to ASK FOR IT,and                                                the best way to avoid getting what you don't want is to say NO."

                             when we speaking up for ourselves,for what we truly want  and for how we'd like to be treated,is the greatest risk we can take in a relationship, as we'll always stand to be refused or unaccepted-and which can often be painful.

            We may not give it much thought,but all of us experience many different kinds of relationships that add valuable support to our lives everyday.

Importance of Relationships in our Lives:

We may have a special person who knows us best of all or someone with whom we share our daily strife's,successes and stuff.we will regard that person as our ally,our soul mate or even life companion.
                     We may have friends with whom we share coffee,a few drinks,the weekly game or who we can complain to about our problems to get advice or feedback.
                     Family members are  often the people who remind us about what's important in our lives.our parents and siblings are often the people  with whom we grew up,they knew the  young us and often we want to make them proud.
                   Then there are colleagues at work,co-workers or bosses.Many of us can spend most of our time with work colleagues.They can be the people who offer us support through our daily struggles,who recognize our skills,accomplishments,efforts and often who it is that we truly are.
          But what happens if those relationships go wrong? What happens if we start to feel irritable,undervalued,insignificant and unappreciated?

                            We may feel that there aren't enough hours in the day to accommodate everything we feel we must do,to please everybody who places the often unlimited demands on us.if we feel insignificant or undervalued in the contexts of our relationships,stress can gradually accumulate until it begins to spread through out every aspect of our lives.
                          Stress can cause disturbed sleep patterns,a lack of enthusiasm for people and the things that were once important to us.Over time we may lose our sense of humor,become aggressive,intolerant and may be introverted.Gradually those important relationships can be damaged by our negative behavior.

                             Every relationship we enter into,or have ever entered  into throughout will place demands on us,which there is nothing we can do about.

                           If you are not getting what you want in a relationship ,or if you are giving in to what you don't want to be giving into in a relationship you are not being your true authentic self.

                               The pressures and constraints of modern life can mean that sometimes our relationships are neglected.work,deadlines,family commitments and a little personal me time can seem an impossibility ,let alone finding time for each other.
                           Along with the growth of social media's over the past 10 years,many people can find themselves becoming less social in the real world when away from the computer screen or the smart phone.Social isolation  has become more prevalent,and the modern way in which we live,can greatly reduced both the quantity and the quality of our social relationships.
                    In addition,a vastly increasing number of people live alone ,with loneliness becoming an increasingly common problem,which many of today's common mental and emotional epidemics such as anxiety,depression and low self esteem.though we have many Facebook friends that "like" us,or twitter followers that "follow"  us, the social media's  will never be able to compensate over the benefits of having that strong social support,that is so integrated into our most basic of human needs.

                  "Although some relationships may break us there are some relationships which make us."

Male anger

Male Anger

                     Anger is anger,right?Yes,it is.But men tend to express their anger differently than women.Men are usually more violent than women.Men are generally less willing than women to confront and deal with their emotions.It's the men with anger problems who cause trouble for everyone else.The struggle that angry men go through is lifelong process.There are periods of smooth sailings and times when nothing seems to go right.Sometimes you may think that you have finally overcome your obstacles, and then  a setback will come along and you may feel the despair that says things will never get better.

                    You need to discover some new ways of looking at yourself.You need some new ideas for how to look at the world.You need to change some of your ways of dealing with the people in  your life.Your situation is not hopeless-anyone can make changes in your life.The most important thing that will help you begin to move toward peace and happiness is hope.

                    Anger is an emotion.And just like any other emotion,anger is not bad.Anger isn't good either.Emotions are essentially part of human being.Believe it or not,anger has its uses.It mobilizes people to action.It helps get things done.This is because anger is energy.

Life is what you make it

The Power of Positive Thinking

                          Thinking positively is not about putting your head in the sand,nor is it about being unrealistic.By developing a positive attitude you still recognize the negative aspects of a situation,however you choose to focus on the hope and opportunity that is available.This approach helps you to avoid getting locked into a paralyzing loop of bad feeling and allows you to move on quickly and take action to solve problems and embrace life's challenges of which we inevitably experience.

                                    Creating and maintaining a positive attitude is the most efficient and low-cost investment you can make in order to improve your life.A positive way of thinking is a habit and needs to be learned through repetition and conscious effort on your part.

                   A positive attitude is not dependent upon your genetic composition even if you are pre-disposed to negative thinking you can learn to move your thinking to the positive side.This depends entirely upon you and how you choose to think.

         It can be easy to blame others or circumstances for everything in our lives-past,present or future.It lets us off the hook to some degree.However,ultimately it doesn't help us because we become a prisoner of circumstance and allow everything and everyone around us to dictate our world

                               Positive affirmations to condition your mind can be very useful.Saying things to yourself like: I am an optimistic,hopeful,positive thinking person.Yes I accept that bad things can happen in my life,however I choose to look for positive opportunities and outcomes in every situation.

Positively Learn from Mistakes

                          Making mistakes is human and we can't get everything right all the time.To increase your rate of success you will have to be willing to accept that you will make mistakes along the way,the skill is that you positively learn from them.

                                           "Mistakes are the Portals of Discovery"

8 Things can certainly Change your Life

*  The first step to happiness is to make a conscious decision to be happy

*  Choose to be an optimist not a pessimist

* Actively seek out opportunities instead of problems

* Think more consciously about what you think

* Avoid blaming other people

* Learn from mistakes and positively move on

* Take personal responsibility for all your actions

* Remember this is your life and your life is what you make it.

We are responsible for all of our experiences

                                              " Life is never stuck or static or stale."                                     

                               What we think about ourselves becomes truth for us.I believe that everyone,myself included,is responsible for everything in our lives,the best and the worst.Each one of us create our experiences by our thoughts and feelings.The thoughts we think and the words we speak create our experience.we create the situations, and then we give our power away by blaming the other person for our frustration.when we create peace and harmony and balance in our minds,we will find it in our lives.
                Here are the two statements which decides what type of a person we are

                                   "People are out to get me."
                                    "Everyone is always helpful."

Each one of these beliefs will create quite different experiences.What we believe about ourselves and about life becomes true for us.

How to Overcome Laziness

Call it laziness, sloth, ineptitude, idleness, or whatever you like but the idea of doing nothing when things needs to be done is often considered to be a sign of weakness or shirking. Sometimes laziness happens when you don't want to face something, like a boring chore or a difficult confrontation with someone. Other times, it might be because you feel overwhelmed and think the task needs a whole team rather than just you. And then there are those times where you really just can't be bothered. In any case. it's simply not a desirable trait.

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Changed Life of the Poor: Better Off, but Far Behind

WASHINGTON — Is a family with a car in the driveway, a flat-screen television and a computer with an Internet connection poor?

Americans — even many of the poorest — enjoy a level of material abundance unthinkable just a generation or two ago. That indisputable economic fact has become a subject of bitter political debate this year, half a century after President Lyndon B. Johnson declared a war on poverty.

Starkly different views on poverty and inequality rose to the fore again on Wednesday as Democrats in the Senate were unable to muster the supermajority of 60 votes needed to overcome a Republican filibuster of a proposal to raise the incomes of the working poor by lifting the national minimum wage to $10.10 an hour.

House Republicans, led by Representative Paul D. Ryan of Wisconsin, have convened a series of hearings on poverty, including one on Wednesday, in some cases arguing that hundreds of billions of dollars of government spending a year may have made poverty easier or more comfortable but has done little to significantly limit its reach.

WHAT IS LIFE?

Introduction
by John Brockman
Several weeks ago, I received the following message from Craig Venter:

"John,  

"I would like to extend an invitation for you to join me in Dublin, Ireland the week of July 10 during which one of the landmark events of 20th Century science